Roberts, Nora - MacGregors 05 by The MacGregor Brides

Author:The MacGregor Brides
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Appalled at herself, she stopped, pressed her fingers to her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. No, please."

She shook her head quickly before he could touch her again. "I need to walk."

He slipped his hands into his pockets. "Then we'll walk."

Chapter 16

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The breeze was brisk, the snow a whirl of white flakes. In silence, they walked toward the river with the sound of traffic a steady whoosh. Streetlights gleamed, Christmas bulbs glowed. On the near corner, a streetside Santa rang his bell monotonously as pedestrians hustled by.

Christmas, Gwen thought, was a time for children's laughter, for family, for secrets and for joys. But to fate—if one believed in it—one day, one season, was the same as the next.

"You can't let it inside you," Gwen said at length. Her hands were so cold and so tired. She tucked them in her pockets instead of taking the effort to pull on her gloves. "If you do, you lose your edge, you start to doubt yourself, your instincts, your abilities. Then, the next time, the next patient, you're not focused.

You can't let it in. I know that."

"But if you don't let any of it inside you, you lose your humanity, what makes you care enough to fight the next time, for the next patient."

"It's a difficult line," Gwen murmured in response. "No matter how straight you try to walk it, you end up teetering over one side or the other at any point." She stopped to look out over the water.

She loved this place, this city, with its insane traffic, its lovely old buildings, its graceful waterways. She loved its history and its pride. But just now she found no comfort in it. It was part of a world that could be cold and cruel to the defenseless.

"I didn't want to lose him. In my head I knew 1 would, the minute I saw how badly he was damaged.

But sometimes you get a miracle. And sometimes you don't."

She closed her eyes, grateful that Branson said nothing, that he understood she needed to get it out. "I can take it. I can take the hours, the stress, the pressure. I wanted it. I trained for it. I can take the paperwork, the bureaucracy. The rude patients, the drug addicts and the self-abusers. I can take the wasted lives. You see so many of them, you almost stop noticing. And then, suddenly…"

Her voice shuddered, and she pressed her fingers to her eyes. "He was only twelve years old."

He spoke now, saying the only thing there was to say. "You did everything you could do."

"That doesn't seem to matter when it's not enough."

"You know better than that" He turned her to face him, could think of nothing but her as he watched a tear spill out of those soft lavender eyes. "How many lives did you save today, this week, this year?"

"I know when I see people in pain or distress that I can fix it, most of the time—I can fix it, or at least Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.

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